The Anonymous writer (Part2)


Sadly, my life still goes on. Am not someone to emulate instead I am someone to be scoffed at, hated by all and pushed away from gatherings, I look innocent and act innocent but then everywhere I go my past still tends to catch up with me. I hate Adele simply because she reminds me that one can still feel so deeply in love, it’s so sad that I have been damaged to the extent of no return, I don’t know how to feel in any relationship anymore, my first kiss was a disaster and it wasn’t even with my boyfriend, my eyes were open throughout and that’s not a good sign. I really don’t understand and don’t know if I am the only bad person in ever who feels this way, I don’t just understand how a woman would sit down and write a whole album all because she was heartbroken, this is what love does to one. Remembering my university days, my roommate in my sophomore year got heartbroken after a 9month relationship, she was affected so badly, it was really funny to me though because I didn’t understand how one could feel so much for someone and get so badly hurt in return, it just didn’t seem right. It took the grace of God to pass by him every day without hitting his head against a wall or something, after a 9month relationship, I couldn’t understand how one could say he got tired of the relationship 4 months ago, it wasn’t fair. My roommate cried for a week, listened to Adele’s songs and even cleaned the bathroom, I felt her pain and this only hardens my heart the more when I think back on how guys could be so selfish and wicked so YES forgive me if I can’t feel for them, they don’t deserve it, none of them do. Probably when it’s time for me to get wed I would open my heart wide enough to experience the soft feeling of love.
                        The question on your minds would be; is this girl a sadist? Well, I would call myself a realist, someone who believes in the fact that fairies don’t exist, Barbie is just a doll and Santa Claus is just a really fat man in red. Time flies really and I have come to understand the disadvantage love has against it, when one finds love they know it, no matter how old, you just know deep within yourself that you have found something worth living for, I believe it’s an interesting feeling, only if I could understand it and feel it. My first ‘I LOVE YOU’ was a lie, but I really needed to believe it to be true, sad how it wasn’t though because now the only thing I can do is regret that moment and wish I could change it for the better good of myself, too bad it’s too late. If you are really young and your reading this, I can boldly say that this isn’t the best way to live life, understand yourself, be open to options, don’t jump before you think, weigh your options and make the right decision…




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