“There is nothing a woman can do to hurry love or to make it happen; for a woman where ‘love’ is the subject, she is helpless – she neither knows when it happens nor when it deserts her.” – Ace Quotes
Not every relationship is designed for marriage! Neither every woman nor man is meant to be forever. Most relationship(s) is just but a passing phase; most folks (especially in Nigeria) fail to adhere to this simple fact but basic truth, hence the main reason why they lack the discipline to back away and in good time, despise the “EX” when the relationship turns sour or finally goes awry.
A relationship was never meant to instantly lead to the cahoots of marriage, that is why it’s called “dating“; there is no destination without a journey. In this context, dating is the journey; so many misplace it for the final destination (marriage).
You could hasten marriage, but you can’t hasten love; the reason to marry is to celebrate your vocal commitment with family and friends in glamour and funfair. A wedding does not make a commitment – marriage can’t even cement it – remember this: we do not win at relationships, rather we win by having relationships; either you gained a friend, companion or lover, in the least, you got to learn new things about yourself, practiced how to cohabit with an entirely different person in the cosmos (an essential component in marriage) and gave your time, energy, attention and of course wherewithal!
After a failed relationship, why is it always perceived as a loss instead of a gain?
Lassitude has set in; weariness has come, but why the ensued hatred? Why the weakness and immobility to move on? Even after moving on, why shut yourself out to a totally different and absolute neo-relationship that may possess latent prospects, promises and glamour even better than the previous, but the bitter heart and lack of will to open up to a new dimension had made you rigid. It is about enjoying and relishing each Mr./Mrs. you meet, appreciating him/her for who he/she is (during the time frame spent together), and through him/her, being cognizant of your strengths and weaknesses; don’t preview each dating path as possibly the one (leading to marriage), because if it turns out not to be, as is usually the case often times, you are going to feel frustrated and disillusioned, viewing or seeing the experience as a total waste of time and energy – rather, we should accept and regard dating – like life, really – as an adventure.
“Every current relationship is an enchantment over the Quondam.” – Ace Quotes
At first stance of dating, both individuals are like moths attracted to incandescence light; the person who appeared in a halo (perfect) at the beginning of a relationship may inevitably emerge as imperfect later – it is tolerance that preserves a relationship and keeps it going – a relationship is likely to proceed on a path that is uncertain and the outcome probably unclear. It is likened to venturing into unknown waters; trusting that a portal would appear. Although, it may not ultimately take you to where you want to go, it could take you to even someplace better; but you must neither be afraid to commit nor willing to explore the odds – that is tough right but illumine this.
“Every achievement never started out as a clear dream.” – Jack Canfield
Falling in love is like Yin & Yang; there must always be a balance and vulnerability is thoroughly included in it’s course. To fall in love means, “making the hard decision of giving your heart wholly to another and accepting that a break-up may be imminent in the near future but you must go ahead irrespective of it’s outcome without showing weariness or signs of decline in the process.“
Mr. Right was only a myth and am the myth buster. Who uttered the lie divulging that “Love is Perfect?!” Ideally, no human alive is perfect how then can two (2) mortal beings comprehend and contend a force (Love) whose origin transcends this corporeal world.
Everyone makes mention only of Mr. Right; that was a quarter past distant and further away from the entire truth, allow me to illuminate: “as an existing fact, there is a Mr. Right, Mr. Right Now, Mr. Almost and Mr. Everything!” These four (4) entities should be set apart in their definitions in order to avoid contradicting context connection; I reckon to elaborate them one after the other but not at this time – here is a clue though: Mr. Right is the dating entity but Mr. Everything is the ripe fruit plucked for marriage.
Who opened Pandora’s Box? I JUST DID.
“In the conscious world, love ain’t evil; people are.” – BigDan
How you remember your past love can heavily affect your ability to bond with a new love in the future? It happened – be sober and brace up. Did you not know the consequences of loving an individual is an outright exposure to emotional injury? Oh! Why are you in awe? Are you not aware?! I’m pragmatic in nature so let me be blunt by asserting, “to fall in love is by choice; your choice…” You are bitter about a heartbreak, crying everyday; you feel your heart cringing in it’s rib cage – it is not the fault of whom you are dating but yours. Let us analyze it and call a spade for what it is – “falling in love is your fault; simply put, if you did not say ‘YES,’ this dilemma would not have reared it’s ugly head – assuming your answer was ‘NO‘ from the onset, you would not be in this mode full of regret – all would be just a passing dream.” Also, the challenge is the state of piety we grew up with; love had always been placed on a pedestal it was never criticized and hence it’s truth was hidden (Love: Revelation of it’s Births & Gimmicks) as a secret out of plain sight. Ipso facto, to fall in love means to agree never to regret anything at all, no matter the outcome; if he/she sets out to be Mr. Everything and ends up to become your lasting life partner, then all ended well but if it did not, then why the negative emotions of hatred, disappointment and dissatisfaction towards the one you claimed to having formerly loved? It does not make ample logic.
Even though an individual has all the qualities you seek, a part of you may still not feel right about him/her; emotions cannot be forced – if it’s not there, then it ain’t. Most relationships never make real progress because the human mind is from the outset threatened by fear of loss: a private soliloquy between mind and self that, “a relationship is not worth sacrificing for; what if he/she leaves tomorrow, then it is done for therefore, I will take it as it comes.” At this juncture, the relationship is already withering away without one realizing it; truth is, if you retain a part of yourself then, you are not in love. Most people know too well, that’s why during or prior to a relationship setting in motion, there is a makeshift for substitution with the notion, “if this fails, then I switch over.” The formula always works but then it makes you a total weakling, for in the presence of the object of admiration where unblemished love is attached, true strength is attained; let us bear in mind that, “a relationship is a simulation of marriage.” If you cannot keep up now, you can’t keep up then; it is best to work hard while in a relationship, for you can never reap it’s benefits if you are not willing to sow the seed – the harvest may delay in bearing fruits but you would see it in marriage.
Four (4) words: No Pain, No Gain.
On a final note, relationships should be viewed from the perspective as quality time spent together which should be experienced and enjoyed for what it is rather than what it adds up to or means for the future; the above goes for many a default human behavioral pattern that immediately summons hatred towards the other person when they experience a breakup or heartbreak.
“To consciously make an entry into a relationship is to accept the probability of breaking up.” – Ace Quotes
“Case of The X“
Written by: Ace Nobis
An Ink&Quill Publication.
Cool article AceNobis
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