LECHEROUS JOURNAL: Episode 6 …script’d by BigDan

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RECAP FROM EPISODE 5…

Jide stopped narrating his story and fixed his eyes on what was happening around Akin.

I was impatient. “Dude, continue, what happened next?“

Jide gestured to me chill as he pointed over towards Akin‘s direction. I tilted a little to see what had caught his attention. Jaw dropped – if the 2 new super hot girls who had joined Akin and the anonymous lady was what had caught Jide‘s interest, then what would be their reaction if they get to know that the girl I met on Thursday, dreamt about on Friday and can’t seem to take my mind off lately, is Vivian and she’s sitting right opposite Akin.

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“Where’s Abiodun?” Akin asked Jide as he approached the table. “He just poof commot for here now say he dey come, be like say he go make call or so.” Jide replied as Akin settled in on the table to narrate his victory with Jide.

“That babe no bad o, her name’s Omotayo … Wetin you tell am sef wey she no ‘gree give you BB pin?“

Jide was reluctant to answer Akin‘s question as it would only reveal his weaker side with approaching women unlike Abiodun and Akin who seemed to see the task as easy as lighting a stick of cigarette.

“I no know for the babe jare, she get winch for head.” Jide simply replied; in an attempt to move away from the topic, he quickly asked Akin, “how far those other 2 babes na? What’s the parole?” Akin laughed out loudly before replying him, “I never really follow them talk, them go soon come back come join us for this table, them say them wan go buy some stuffs for Shoprite.” He concluded his reply by pointing to the bottle of Vodka on the table, “abeg pass am make I last am.” Akin was one known to always keep the rest of his buddies in suspense till the very last minute. “You still get money for hand so? Seems we about to fix ourselves a small party with ’em shawties.“

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Abiodun wandered around from store to store looking for where to get an exquisite but not expensive gift for Vivian. Since he last saw her walk away on Thursday with the mysterious built man, he couldn’t seem to take his mind off her. He’d dreamt, fantasized and even rehearsed a next meet with her all in his mind, but he never saw it actualizing this soon.

“God works in mysterious ways“, he whispered beneath his breathe as he walked into a jewelry store after his sight caught hold on a diced shaped and designed bangle. “That shouldn’t be bank-breaking“, he told himself. “Maybe the right word should be pocket-wrecking“. He contemplated. His mind seemed to be overpowering his actions.

“Good afternoon“, he replied the pretty young lady in a purple Polo by Ralph and black chinos torso who walked up to him.

In a space of seconds, his mind had wandered off again.

“Dear God, why have you decided to surround my life now with beautiful girls everywhere I go? Especially busty ones. Is this some sort of temptation? Is it a test of love? Is it an opportunity for me to make a choice of woman again or am I just taunted by the demons of cupid who have proven to me that love is evil?” He just wanted an answer, not like he really cared what the answer would be. Truthfully, since his last relationship went sour, he hasn’t been able to fall in love again, it’s all been infatuation, lust or he being lost in a world of no return to love. He had expressed his pain in an article titled “A Minute to Midnight“; Akin [his manager] had also dared him to write an open “Love Application Letter“. He really wished he could go back to his ex-girlfriend, for the memories they shared together has been one he sees unbeatable by any other being of the feminine gender.

With a tap on his shoulder he came back to reality as he let out a gush of air through his nostrils and tried composing himself. He turned around to the sales girl and his mind instinctively resumed it’s duty, his brain rarely failed him at hard times. He was smart and he knew it. He owed it all to his zeal for reading and learning.

“Sorry if this sounds rude, but what’s your name?” It was like my words pierced her inner beauty and disrupted her outward appearance. Her face shifted from the regular smile I had seen earlier; an element of marketing strategy, to a delusion of disruption of the outward beauty – a transformation from a look gone pretty to poorly. Her face wore a confused expression, one which wiped the smile and replaced them with an expression of, “what the f**k, is he trying to hit on me?” Not like he cared if it was an act of hitting on the sales girl, it was just a reflex reproach to beauty. One he could hardly help. One that Akin had used in taunting him with the nick, Woman Wrapper.

“Amaka“, she replied. “Would you like to buy that?” She asked.

“Oh, yes!” Abiodun quickly shifted his eyes back on the bangle as he wore a smile. It had customary become his best disguise, one he wore instinctively.

“₦1,000“, she replied quickly. “How many would you like?” Amaka retorted.

“Just one.” Abiodun knew best not to argue or negotiate the price because of the store location. If he was in a more local public market, he would be paying as less as ₦200 for the same piece.

“Fine boy like you shouldn’t wear just one … Try two“, as Amaka tried reaching for Abiodun‘s hand to fit in the 2 pieces she had in her palms.

“Oh! It’s not for me, would have loved to buy them for you but someone else seemed to have been faster than you in demand“, he smiled again as he seductively said the words.

A smile graced her face as she handed Abiodun just 1 of the bangle and he made a cash deposit for it – denominations of ₦500, 2 pieces.

“Wearing a smile is the enemies best disguise.” – BigDan

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The mystery lady, Vivian and their 3rd friend wandered around Shoprite, shopping for different items as they tossed them all into the carrier basket Vivian had hanging within her arm. 3 Orbits chewing gum, a bottle of Baileys, 1 family-sized plastic bottled Coca-Cola drink, 6 cans of Smirnoff and their 3rd friend dropped a bar of Nestle chocolate and 2 Maryland biscuits.

“That Akin dude is quite charming“, the mystery lady said as they all giggled.

“Maybe this is your opportunity to finally hook up with a cool guy rather than despise all men.” Vivian retorted. She felt the urge to share her tale of Abiodun with the girls but she wasn’t sure of her emotions. It’s just too soon, she had always reminded herself – “men are just a bunch of retards“, she whispered. Their 3rd friend laughed out slowly, saying very little. They made their way to the counter to pay for their goodies as Vivian grabbed a bar of Snickers; their third friend’s eyes watched her pick it from the stand – memories she had fought away, of her ex-boyfriend came to play.

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Everyone was back at the initial table except for Abiodun. Akin had beckoned to Jide to make arrangement for more chairs as Jide did and the girls sat comfortably as Vivian settled the nylon of bought items beside her. Akin ordered a few more drinks after asking the girls what they would like to drink individually. He pulled off his phone from his pocket and dialled Abiodun. He wondered why he wasn’t back on the table yet. Jide tried to keep the table lively as he started a conversation with the mysterious lady.

“Did I really do bad in trying to acquire your BB pin?“. He asked.

She acted like she didn’t hear him at first and then raised her head and asked, “you talking to me?“

Jide smiled and then answered, “sorry I acted a wussy … I bet Akin had explained to you already the whole jerk behind my action.“

Akin had been sure to hint Jide on what to say to keep the table alive and drive away the shame of his failure earlier; the girls laughed as they had already gossiped about the whole pre-event while down at Shoprite.

“He no ‘gree pick phone.” Akin said as he dropped his Blackberry on the table and made for a stick.

With the bangles in his back pocket, Abiodun approached the table. He pulled the chair beside the 3rd girl and settled himself in as he shifted his face to Vivian to speak.

“Sorry I kept ya’all waiting, I went to get something special for someone.” A little confused, Vivian was astonished.

“Watchu doing here? I thought you said you hardly come out on Sundays?“

Akin and Jide were lost.

“You know her?” Asked Akin.

“Yes! This is Vivian.” He tried to quickly ignore the question and introduce himself to the other girls.

“Sorry my name is…” He tried completing his sentence as he stretched out his hand to shake the girl beside him, and right there, that moment, he noticed the girl seated beside him was _____.

HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND!!!

His hand hanging, a bewildered expression on their faces. They both stared at each other as the rest on the table tried to decipher what was going on.

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“Love is a game; there’s always a winner and a loser.” – BigDan

Read Preceding Episodes Here —> “LECHEROUS JOURNAL“

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