DIARY OF A SAD BLACK WOMAN: ME

Did you think everything I tell you is fiction? Do you think this woman makes everything up? You think this sad black woman is just angry with the world for nothing? You think she wasn’t hurt? You think she just made up her mind to be sad? Guess what ,the answer is NO.

You must be thinking that I must have told you this first like everyone else, but I’m not “everyone else“. I am the Sad Black Woman. I speak my mind and hope to be heard because all my life I’ve been locked away in a cell I couldn’t escape. I was seen as the timid, foolish, weak girl who would amount to nothing. Guess what? I will prove them wrong. They tortured me, abused me and bruised my spirit. They blamed me for every single thing that went wrong in my life. I felt the pain, I bore the shame, I cried till there were no tears left and saw myself as a failure who would never survive. I share not my pain so you can pity me. I share it so that you can open up your ears and heart to learn from it. I’m not going to say that I am a saint. I made mistakes and learnt from them but I paid the most painful prices apart from death. I lost the man I loved most because of my foolishness. He meant the world to me. He was the only one who felt my pain. We shared everything. I was stupid. I told him all about me and he never told me all about him. I suffered and defended him, only for me to sin and he was the first to throw a stone at me. He tortured with me with guilt while drowning himself in his self righteousness. To be sincere, I have not forgiven him for this wrong he did me.

My family left me when I needed them. Point of correction, they were never there. They felt all I needed was money, education, friends and the best toys when all I asked was their love.

Well, this is the life of the Sad Black Woman.

Hate me.

Love me.

This is ME.