Before I begin this article, I’d like to say that am a versatile writer but this particular topic I wanna delve into isn’t really my turf, I pay attention to a lotta things, some of which doesn’t even concern me hehehe #teamGossip noni. On a good day, if you ask me what I know about Nigerian politics, I’ll tell you I don’t know sh*t about it and that’s why I don’t talk about it. I love government though …as a subject, buh that was just the high school part of it.
However before I continue, I’d like to say this post was not set out in anyway to mock “The Nigerian President”, I’m just a writer, writing down my thoughts …anyways moving on!, like I said earlier am not a fan of Nigerian politics, but this current civilian regime caught my attention, the whole package just amuses me, we got the “First Lady” on one hand, the “President” on the other, and the “Vice President” too, well I still don’t know which hand to put HIM lol.
The first person am going in on is “His Excellency”, the only question I got for him is “Duuuuuuude what are you doing in Aso Rock? …eating starch and banga soup all day?” All I ever see about the president on TV, is him travelling everywhere, today its Kenya, tomorrow its Uganda, I’ve NEVER read about any outstanding thing he has done for Nigeria, hell even OBJ the bad egg blessed Naija with Mobile Phones and brought in MTN too (well, when those ones were still the ‘the best connection’). The major highlight of his tenure so far has been his ability to bring peace to the Niger Delta, which by the way is nothing compared to the militant’s masters, the people we’ve come to know as “Boko Haram”, who are now causing terror in every state they enter.
Next on the list is “The First Lady”, we all know how the First Lady looked like during the campaigns, and we also saw when her new look was Unveiled, not that am saying this is bad, I mean she IS the president of Nigeria, all I’m saying is, when the ‘new look’ was being planned, wasn’t anybody bold enough to suggest that a private English teacher be included too?. I remember watching the campaign and I remember the first speech I ever heard her make, and I could remember thinking “she prolly wasn’t in the mood for a speech that’s why the #gbagauns were so epic”. But then other speeches came, and along came other epic #gbagauns too, here are some that will make you laugh so hard you’d pee your pants; “My husband and Sambo are a very good people”, “I’ll rather die than commit suicide”, “I donate my family on behalf of 20million naira”, and “The people that did this bombing were once a children and they are now making these children a widow”. For sobbing out loud SHE IS THE FIRST LADY! I remember watching the Prince William royal wedding and thinking “#omg, what if they called up the First Lady of Nigeria to come and say a few words?!”
Third on my list is the “Vice President”, I don’t have much to say on him, cos I barely even see HIM around, *sigh* God help us in Nigeria, I could go on writing all day, but I feel my point has been made, anyways I wish Nigeria ‘GoodLuck’ next time.
…as posted in by @shaR_Rone
- Why #Gbagaun (yemiswindow.wordpress.com)